It’s official-I am no longer a Peace Corps Volunteer. Upon returning from the first and only real vacation (non-PC work travel) I took, I concluded that it was time for me to end this experience. There was a lot of reflection that led to this decision, even removing myself from my site to process my thoughts. There wasn’t any one particular moment but an accumulation of mini-moments that were building up. 

I was beginning to have doubts about my future with PC towards the end of Ramadan with the announcement of the youth center closing for a year due to construction and the subsequent months of struggling to find alternative work, along with the temperatures steadily increasing. Before joining I knew there would be uncertainty with the types of work each community would need, however, I did assume that there would be work available. I was prepared for isolation, the cultural differences, the change in eating habits, and even for some (not all the harassment) I was exposed to both in my community and beyond. If you had asked about ETing at the onset of service I never would have thought I would be entertaining let alone making this decision but here we are. 

Due to the remoteness of my village, any trip I took would require me to spend the first night in Agadir which was about 6 plus hours on the bus. So for every trip, I had to spend a night in that city before continuing the journey due to travel restrictions.

That first night I can recall getting there and just the pure joy in being able to sit in an empty hotel room with AC and eat food. It had been in the low 100s for months and I was struggling to eat more than a fried egg or yogurt. One of the tricks I learned was to wet a sheet and prop it up to try and sleep under to lessen some of the heat. Tough reality. I slept so well that first night because it was not so hot that it hurt to breathe. Finally, I could sleep a full night without having to get up and re-wet a sheet. 

I knew this was just the pure bliss of starting vacation that anyone would feel and wasn’t a good representation to help sort out my thoughts. Yet I noticed that I felt more overall happiness and a sense of calm being out of the site than I did within.  I usually had the most anxiety and dread finding a way back to the site, due to the distance, remote access, and restriction of PC travel which made it near impossible to not have some complicated travel plan.

The other issue was that my village was very small with no public spaces where women were welcome. The gender norm was for women to socialize within the home and the men would spend time outside on the sidewalks or the cafes or parks. I can even acknowledge the privilege I had of being an American in that there was slightly more acceptance of me being in public areas yet, this went against tradition and would often open me up to unwanted attention or harassment from men. Many times I just felt like I was just existing in my apartment. It would constantly drain my energy and I also realized just how important it is to my health to be able to wander and explore new places or just be outside comfortably. 

This isn’t to say that I did not have a wonderful experience with some people in my community. I can recall many moments of feeling wonderful walking home from work and having store owners wave as I walked by, kids playing soccer in the street and calling out my name, and many women stopping to talk or invite me for tea. But the unfortunate reality for me was that these experiences were few and far between and ultimately did not warrant me spending another year there without feeling any value added to the community or myself.

I chose to end my Peace Corps service early due to a combination of factors, including the unexpected and indefinite closure of the youth center where I worked, limited opportunities for sustained alternative projects despite my efforts, and challenges related to the local climate. While these obstacles made it difficult to fully achieve the goals I had set, I’m grateful for the diverse experiences I gained, the community connections I made, and the insights I gathered. These lessons continue to shape my commitment to meaningful future public service. For now I look forward to returning stateside, letting my body and mind heal then finding my next adventure!