It’s officially been a little over a month and half being back stateside. I had been warned that readjustment might prove a struggle, even hearing that other RPCVs had panic attacks doing basic tasks like grocery shopping. In the flurry of deciding to ET and then the actual close out week on top of the actual return travel  I can only say I felt excitement to get back home. I got a flight from Casa to Canada and then a layover to fly back to Boston and just a short car ride back to New Hampshire. Due to delays, I didn’t get home till late in the evening so my first meal was a very classic (and quick) mac and cheese with hot dogs. Enough sustenance to eat, take a gorgeously long hot shower and get some sleep. 

Thus began the process of readjustment and freedom. It felt like a huge weight off my shoulders the moment I touched down in the US with all the travel finally done.  

I’ve spent time eating all the foods I missed, going out shopping with ease, catching up on movies and shows, exploring my home state during the most beautiful time of year, and of course getting all the obligatory things done to get back on my feet like DMV appointments and car shopping. Throughout every moment (even waiting in line at the DMV) I felt relief knowing it was all helping build my life back. 

I can honestly say I did not have any anxiety being in a grocery store or shopping mall if anything I had to keep reminding myself not to buy everything I saw because I am no longer in the scarcity mindset of ‘stockpile whenever you find something you like because you may never see it again’. With great privilege, I know I can find food very easily here. 

It took a lot longer for my body to readjust. Honestly, I am probably still recovering from what felt like months of mild heat stroke/health issues on top of the mentality shift needed to integrate culturally.  But each day both physically and emotionally I get to repair myself. 

I love waking up in the morning and deciding what to do that day, frankly just that I have things to accomplish besides boredom cleaning my house. I can get up and decide to go for a hike in the mountains or run to the store to go shopping, workout at the gym,  or even just sit in a public park and read without any scrutiny. Granted all this between job applications but even with that stress I feel immensely appreciative to be back stateside and know the leaving the PC was still the right decision for me.